🏃♂️ Run Report – SH3 Run #1774
The 3rd Annual Hanoi Spies Trail
📍 Somewhere in the middle of Saigon pretending to be the countryside
🗓️ A day lost to madness, misdirection, and mooing
The Run:
Short and sweet, just like your last Tinder date—except with more shiggy and fewer regrets (arguably). The hares promised “urban jungle” and delivered a city run with a rural twist: cracked sidewalks, sketchy alleys, and a surprise livestock encounter.
Yes, folks—Taste Great tried to go full Cow Whisperer on a confused herd, but alas, he only managed to promote mass bovine hysteria. The cows were NOT impressed. They moo-ved with attitude, scattering hashers in all directions, while local dogs and Cherry Ho joined the stampede. City run? Country run? Who the hell knows. All we know is it turned into a zoo.
The Walkers:
Walkers enjoyed a slower-paced scenic route… mainly because they were conscripted into unpaid beer sherpas, dragging leftover drinks from the beer stop. According to our hash lawyer Witchful Thinking, this constituted a serious hash crime, and she slapped runners with charges like “beer abuse” and “failure to carry your own damn load.”
The Circle:
Things heated up—literally—with a lively circle full of icy retribution and questionable musical talent. Highlights included:
- 🎵 Furry Spice, our cheerful visitor from the Windy City, got iced and serenaded with “I Used to Work in Chicago” — because nothing says welcome like a cold butt and a dirty song.
- 🎂 Cocktail Fail, now our glorious new GM (God/Moron), celebrated his 34th birthday by receiving a sweet cake-to-the-face from none other than his loving wife Cherry Ho, in what witnesses described as “sweet revenge served with frosting.”
We had a few terrible jokes (standard issue), some singing, some booing, a few more charges no one remembers, and then—like hungover ninjas—we vanished into the night for some delicious northern-style food and even colder Bia Hơi.
Final Words:
No injuries (unless you count dignity), lots of laughs, several moo-ving moments, and a reminder that Saigon Hash knows how to trailblaze… even through a cow riot.
On On, you magnificent weirdos! 🐄🍻🎂
— Run Scribe, still mildly afraid of cows